So, it's Christmas, and what would Christmas be without a little sadness, right? I'll tell you what it would be...the best freakin' Christmas EVER! I am so not getting my hopes up about any gifts, because I know what my parents are getting me...a get out of debt free card!!! lol They are taking care of my credit card debt. So, I know that there aren't any other things coming my way, so no disappointment there.
I was sad yesterday, I have to admit that. I was just thinking about how here I am yet again, ALONE for Christmas, and of course, I am once again the FRIEND. I am not going into detail because...well, because I am over it all ready. I got really sad about a situation last night, and I was crying while in the theatre during my Dreams shift. But then I started to pray and ask God why I keep going down the same route. Why things don't change for me. And man did He answer me! He told me that I haven't called on him for it yet. All throughout my not wanting to get feelings for someone, I kept saying, "I" can't do that. "I" need to not go there. And He pointed out that I am a girl, I do want what all girls want, companionship. So, for me to think that I can just not develop feelings for someone that I think has almost EVERY thing I need in a guy, is ridiculous. Only He can handle something that hard. So, seriously, God had a nice talk with me last night. He just wants me to give Him everything. I can't help the way I feel, but He can. I can't help my self-esteem, but He can. He just seriously asked me if I was ready to give Him everything, and I am. I'm ready to wait patiently, and devote EVERYTHING in me to Him, even more so. It's time for Him to be my focus, not my lack of a relationship. *sigh* It was a good night. A lot of revelation.
Let's see, I need to actually update. Ok, Saturday was our outreach in Bakersfield, it went really well. We did five dances, and hadn't even had a chance to practice at all! That was good, going out there, and just being able to minister to everyone there.
Tuesday was the youth Christmas party, and it was a lot of fun! I had invited Eric, I think he had a good time. I love being around those kids, the girls especially. I don't know how I would've gotten through the whole Yolanda thing had I not started getting close to Dest and Charity and Court. I know they are quite a bit younger than me, but they are stronger in their faith, well, more seasoned, for lack of a better word. Anyways, yeah, I am glad that I am getting closer to them, Desiree too.
Well, I guess that is all, oh yeah! I found out on Wednesday that Destiny went to school with Troy, one of my Boomer leads, and my mentor. That is so funny. She was a freshman when he was a senior. I think that is so funny. It's crazy just how small the world really is!
Anyways, until next time...THANK YOU AND GOODNIGHT!!!
7But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this allsurpassing power is from God and not from us. 8We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 10We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. 11For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body. 12So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.
II Corinthians 4:7-12